How this year's E3 went down (in my opinion)

So yea, E3 press conferences are over and this is my very, very crude take on it. For those who can't read my messy hand-writing,

XBOX One: We want to make the most money out of gamers! Pre-owned suck!
PS4: We listened to what the public said about that and tossed it!!
WiiU: YAY MARIOKART!
XBOX One: What's wrong with him?
PS4: He's still running the old gen processor
XBOX One: Wow, that must really suck!
PS4: Yea, tell me about it!
XBOX One: ...wanna go for a beer?
PS4: Why the hell not.
XBOX One: You'll have to be online for the duration of the drink.
PS4: GODDAMMIT, ONE!